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The Criswell Commentaries - Part One
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Christie “Critter” Criswell - the Queen Bee Legal Eagle herself. She is nicknamed Critter because, when she is in court, she has the tenacity of a deranged honey badger. She is a brilliant strategist, whose legal role models are Clarence Darrow and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Her theme song is ‘You Don’t Own Me’ by Leslie Gore
Randy Annie Applebaum - Christie's party girl paralegal with her 141 IQ. Although Annie graduated from law school with the highest honors, she refuses to take the bar exam.
Her theme song is ‘Bad Reputation’ by Joan Jett, with a backup of ‘Jose Cuervo’ by Shelly West
Johnathan Jefferson – a Secret Service pensioner, John is Christie’s office manager and finance guru. Ask what he did in the Service at your own peril.
His theme song is “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap’ by AC/DC
Molly McFee – Christie’s receptionist and part-time investigator. Molly is a former member of the 101st Airborne Division. Known as the Building Badass, she is a Screaming Eagle through and through. Did we mention that most weekends she is an MMA Cage Fighter?
Although her theme song is ‘Jump’ by Van Halen, it should probably be ‘Bad to the Bone’ by George Thorogood
Grace O’Malley Assets Management – the financial services firm that shares the building with Christy’s law firm. Sidenote: The firm’s namesake was a 16th century Irish pirate queen; draw your own conclusions.
Their theme song is ‘Mr. Businessman’ by Ray Stevens, although sometimes it seems that it should be ‘Send in the Clowns’ by Judy Collins
Zeke Ziffle – Retired industrial engineer Zeke is the stereotype lovable but eccentric building manager. He is nice enough and capable enough, but basically boring, and so has no theme song. At least as of yet.
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Points of Interest Along the Way
**Christie owns their building through a separate company.
**Christie and Johnathan, though a series of offshore companies, own controlling interest in Grace O’Malley Assets Management.
**Molly performs off-the-record side assignments for a couple of the alphabet agencies. In return for her services, said agencies provide Christy a portion of their sensitive legal work.
Christie has a playful Shih Tsu named Ripley.
Zeke brings his goldfish in a bowl.
Molly arrives with her hamster Ely.
Johnathon comes with his Corgi G Gordon.
Annie strolls in with her caged cockatoo Madonna.
The Criswell Commentaries - Part Two
Please reach us at animalmusingsmedia@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments
Copyright © 2020 2021 2022 2023 Animal Musings Media, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
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